I stopped smoking. On June 30th, I sucked the last puff of nicotine filled air into my lungs. I made a commitment to try to be a healthier me. And I did it, yes I did. But it has been far from easy, and the pangs of longing still linger. Actually, I think when I returned home, back to my own house, my own schedule, my own space, the difficulty started again. But still, I haven't rolled a smoke or lit one up either. I've tried to steer clear of smoking to make it easier on myself. Not easy when I have a smoker for a husband. But this is my choice, not his, not other smokers, and I am the one who needs to be strong, the one who can be proud.

I quit smoking to become a healthier person. I hated waking up coughing, hated my kids asking me not to breathe by them cuz my breath stinks. I hated the brown colored fingers and the gums that were beginning to turn a darkish color inside my mouth. I hated the feeling of being addicted, needing a smoke before I could accomplish anything else in the morning; telling my kids I'd play a game "after I have a smoke". I never enjoyed being a smoker, as much as I needed to smoke. I tried to hide my habit from friends, and always played down my smoking schedule. It wasn't fun being a smoker hidden in the brain of a non-smoker.

So, I quit. I made a conscious decision to quit smoking, chose a date, and followed through. And now, for as long as I can be strong and value myself, I can call myself a non-smoker. I hope it's forever.

Now it's time to focus on my weight issues which lately have been screaming out of control. I desire a healthier me, but being overweight has been a health issue foremost in my life since I was just a kid. Stopping smoking has been good, but bad for my already existent weight issues. It is time to get a handle on this problem and really work at finding health. I am making a conscious decision to get control over my eating habits. I have tried numerous times in the past with various rates of success. I am ready to claim back my health.


Jade said...

You go girl! Take your power back! It can be very hard to change life habbits if you are not supported around them. The smoking thing would be very hard for me if Crys smoked. Luckily she doesn't so when I stopped, though I still miss it on occasion, I am supported in not smoking. Does hubby ever consider quiting?

The positive thing about your goal to eat healthy, and be active to control your weight is that you are the cook of the house. So they have to eat what you make or not eat at all! There is a great web site called cooking light... http://www.cookinglight.com/ that is a great guide to healthy cooking, and it has all been very yummy in my opinion.
I'm proud of you for taking responsibility over your life and health. You have two awesome boys that you have to be around, healthy, and energetic for.
I know I'm 3000 miles away, but if there is anything I can do to support you in this new path in life, please let me know!

Hugs to you my friend XXXXX

Tanya @ TeenAutism said...

I salute you - I've had close friends and family members who've smoked and quit (or tried to) and through them I've experienced a bit of how difficult it is. You have my complete support from across the Internet ether!

joven said...

beautiful blog..pls visit mine and be a follower.. thanks and God bless..


Michelle S. said...

Congrats this is great news. I just stopped by here for the first time after seeing the name of it on Teen Autism. I just wrote a blog about "back to reality" and I've seen three people post things on facebook in a few minutes about"reality". I thought something was going on when I saw your post so I had to check it out!! Great job stopping smoking! So healthy and think of all the money you'll save! :)