Hazy Death

It's building in me
This thing that closes off my throat
That fills my head with fuzz
I can't breathe
I can't see
All that is before me is a haze
The only thing alive
Is the thing growing inside

The desire
To smash and throw and scream
I pull my hair as a groan escapes
A howling that blasts through my ears
Barely audible but to me
The howl of the deepest pain
My hair in handfuls in my fists
Unfeeling
A haze I can't function

I move towards my bed
The serenity and tranquility
To remove me from the haze
My clothes shedded
My body upon the cool sheets
My scream muffled by a pillow
My tears like a river growing deeper
As each second unfolds

The haze lessening
The blankets warm
The thing leaving behind
A mottled face
An aching head
And a stomach queasy
A pillow wet and sad
Death of the haze
Death of yet another little piece
Of my already dying soul

I awaken
It remains, the thing
Though it's already forgotten
Put into the past
I can't shake the uneasiness
The haze, the thing
This, The death of me