We're at the halfway mark in this round with the psych hospital. Halfway there...
Last night I went to visit my son. Picked him up and took him out for an ice cream cone. It is moments such as these that I so treasure with him. Just him and I doing what any parent and child would/should do. We walked through the door of the ice cream shop and another man was being served. He had a huge cone with a ton of ice cream and whipped cream and cherries on top and it made Kaeden's mouth water. "Mama, that is a big ice cream. Can I have one of those?" he asked. I wanted to say yes, have whatever you want, but I also know that 1) he shouldn't have so much 2) this was a little treat, not something that should cost a days work and 3) he needs to know that I am in control, I have the final say. "No, Kaeden, we came to get a little treat. Look at all those flavors they have. Which ONE would you like? I'm going to have the lemon sorbet."
We ordered and sat out in the sunshine, the heat of the hottest day of the year thus far hanging onto us. I asked him how he was doing, what they'd been doing in the group. He responded with "Nothing." So, I tried another tactic. "I see you have a new bracelet. Did you make that?"
And then the floodgates opened. He started telling me about the crafts they had done, the outdoor games with water balloons, showed me the blister on his hand from tug of war. He smiled and laughed and couldn't get it all out quickly enough. I laughed with him, my smile meeting the smile in his own eyes. This was what I wanted, what I needed. Just a regular ole conversation of daily events of mother and son.
We sat there in the sun enjoying our time together. "So, Kaeden, what flavor are you going to choose next time we come for a cone?" I asked my boy, my young man. "Are you going to get coconut again, or try something else?" I could see the wheels turning as he tried to decide. "That tasted just like a bounty," he answered. "But maybe I want to try something else next time. Maybe we can come enough times that I could try ALL the flavors!" He looked at me with a smirk, but with light in his eyes, teasing me...
This was all I wanted, all I needed. This game parents and children play. This is reality.
4 comments:
Half-way there, I'm sure that is small consolation, but I'm glad you are making it through. And that you have experiences like this lovely outing to keep you going. Kaeden is so beautiful; I hope his time there is for the good. Lots of love to you, my friend.
Hey friend. I just wanted to come and leave some love on your page. I know you've got a lot going on health wise right now. I think we're on the same boat with that. Just want you to know that you're being thought about.
Hope you're feeling better and better as the days go on.
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