4.15.2009

Alone, But Not Lonely

It's quiet. Ocassionally I hear a car drive by, trying to get through the work crew fencing, only to have to back up and try another route. There are birds singing and that's the only sound I hear. It's quiet.

Jari is at soccer camp, Kaeden off to the city vacation club, Erwin back at work after vacation, and I am here, home, in my security zone. I hung out the laundry to dry in the sun which is shining ever so brightly and brings with it an energy force that makes me feel happy, makes me smile and able to breathe. The flowers I planted over the weekend are waiting to pop into gorgeous colors and I keep wandering outside to look at them yet again, hoping one more bloom may have appeared in the past 5 minutes.

It is quiet and my mind feels quietly involved. It is a peaceful feeling, knowing that through the trials I partake in on a daily basis, I still have this. This place of peace, this place that is mine and mine alone, my little piece of happiness stemming from my own inner self. When I stop to take a breath and stop to look around me, there is beauty, natural and unburdened.

Sometimes when I am alone, I feel lonely, apart, separate and distanced. Today, all I feel is a sense of well-being. I have had my family with me for the past 2 weeks, and today is the first chance I have had to be alone. Time for sitting quietly, sipping a cup of coffee, and not worrying about everything I still need to do. Not worrying, just engaging in the peace of this moment, this alone time, this freedom.

I am me, and I am okay.

2 comments:

So this is blogging... said...

You're such a bigger person than I am... I hate being alone...ever!!! Enjoy your quiet time honey, you deserve some peace! I'm sure you need it with all the energy you spent showing me around!

Tanya @ Teenautism said...

I love having time to myself. I think it's so important to commune with ourselves, and you describe it beautifully here.