O' Christmas Tree

What a roller coaster of a day. It started with fighting and throughout the day was more fighting, with very nice moments in between. I was an emotional wreck. Tonight I feel the stress of the day filling my shoulders and my head.

Tonight, I look at our beautiful Christmas tree, decorated by loving hands, without a single episode of anger or sadness, and I feel a calm overcome me. The lights glow, and the tree stands proud in a new stand. Lots of handmade ornaments decorate her branches, and were lovingly placed there as excited boys remembered years past, when they received or made them. The nativity is settled on the cupboard, the three wise men standing off in the distance awaiting the birth of baby Jesus. Jari can't wait to move them closer to the manger every day.

We went to find our perfect tree this afternoon. We drove to the tree patch in which we usually find our beauty staring back at us, only to wander the fields and find not a single one calling us, not a single tree to bring home to join our family this holiday season. Jari found one with a very crooked top that bent nearly to the ground, Kaeden saw one which was a perfect replication of the Charlie Brown tree with no branches, Erwin accepted one that was so straight it looked as if it was a soldier standing in formation, and the one we finally all agreed upon...well, when we were told the price, we set her back...she wasn't the one for us.

We drove to another tree stand. The cost was reasonable, the trees smaller than our normal choice. Kaeden held one after another up for mama's inspection, and then there it was. I wasn't immediately drawn to her, as many branches on one side were browning, and she didn't have that perfect form. Yet as I looked at more and more, she kept returning for another glance. Yes, a bit imperfect, just like my day, just like me, just like my life...but still enough beauty, enough charm to be accepted into this life of imperfection. We all agreed that this was to be our Merry Christmas tree, and Erwin loaded her into the car.

Coming home, we put her into the stand, something we always have issues with, year after year. Our new stand proved to be a good choice, and after just one try she stood, awaiting twinkling lights and colorful decorations. We all gathered, donning Santa hats as Christmas music played and we sang along, and our little imperfect tree glowed to life.

Tonight, I accept that imperfection is beautiful. It's all in how we look at it.