Jari and I played a game the other night before bed. It wasn't a typical game we play. Oh no, we played a game designed for mamas and papas.
Last Valentine's Day, I gave Erwin those fuzzy dice, a game for us to play. On the red dice are the words Toes, Lips, Neck, Ears. On the black dice the words Kiss, Lick, Tickle... and Jari found the dice in our room as we were getting ready for bed.
"What is this for, mama?" he asked me. "Uhm, it's a game," I responded, my cheeks a bit flushed with red. "Can we play it?" he asked. "Uhm, okay" I answered, not sure how to play this out. I didn't want to confront him with the reality of what kind of game it was, stripping him of his little boy innocence. So, we played the game.
He giggled. He loved it when he had to tickle my ears as I laughed and laughed. He loved it even more when I was forced to lick his toes. "Ewwww, you have a GROSS one," he chuckled as he held out his fresh from the bath feet for me to lick. Luckily, they were fresh from the bath.
Throughout our ten minute game, my mind raced. This is NOT something you should be playing with your son. This is a sex game. This shouldn't be happening. Yet, as we played and laughed and giggled, it was also all okay, innocence at its finest.
At least the dice got their first use. I think I will once again retire the dice to their quiet place in the cupboard, hoping that one day Erwin and I can play. But, for the time being, the red and black fuzzy dice proved to me that sex is only sex when the innocence is lost.