Good Bye

I just got off the phone with Kaeden. He called to tell us good-bye. Good bye, it seems the wrong words for my son to tell me as I head off on our family vacation. I feeel a bit heart broken. I'm starting to miss my son more than words can say. And, as I take this adventure with my husband and my little bug, part of me is being left behind. It just doesn't feel quite okay. Even as I know that he is having a wonderful time in Wyoming, I feel a bit cheated. I'm missing out on all his adventures, and he on all of mine. I don't want to have to look at pictures 10 years down the road and remember the heart break I was feeling today. "Remember the summer you spent with gramma and grampa in Wyoming riding horses and swimming and riding four wheelers??" Yes, he'll say with a smile in his heart...and I'll scream back "WELL DANG IT ALL< I DON'T REMEMBER BECAUSE I WASN'T THERE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU!!!" I'm happy that Kaeden is renewing the bond with his grandparents that he's always had, and thrilled that my parents are getting a chance to be involved in his life and come to know him again. But the simple truth is that I miss my son. I miss waking to his kisses in the morning and tucking him in with songs at night...and I'm sad he won't be sharing our explorations to eastern europe. So, my Riley Boy, I won't say Good-Bye, rather Tot Ziens, when you are back in teh throes of your mama's arms where you belong...because even though your body is thousands of miles away, your heart is here at home, home, where the heart is...your mama's heart. I love you Kaedi Riley, more than all the stars in the sky...

No comments: