I love the mornings when
Kaeden and Erwin have
already left for work and
school, the house is quiet
as I traipse upstairs and
surprise my littlest love
morning wake up kiss. I love to watch him sleep, see his funny morning hair and eyes zooming back and forth as he dreams. I wonder if he
dreams of being a policeman or a power ranger, if he dreams of playing with mommy or coloring a picture or maybe about the dinosaur of which I sing him to sleep with each evening. I love to see his tiny head snuggled just under the covers, watch his body as the blankets stretch and fall with each breath. And as I watch him, I wonder at the creation of this tiny person that is able to fill my being with so much love, pride, joy, and amusement. Of every creation I have made, he is by far the most astouding, the one of which I am most proud. He is stunningly beautiful, and as I catch his little cheek with a Good Morning Sunshine kiss, he pulls me to him and I breathe in the scent of my little boy, feeling his arms encase me in his love. I hope I give him as much security as he does me. When I tell him that I love him, he replies with "I love you too, mama." and it takes my breath away for just a moment. This is perfection. A moment frozen in time, shared by just the two of us, giving and receiving in unison.
Jari has been so excited the past days. Sinterklaas has arrived in Belgium and he plans each picture he makes to set in his shoe with such careful precision, knowing that if he does his best work, Sinterklaas will be proud, and he will be rewarded with a tiny little treat for his well-done efforts. And to Jari, however long it takes him to make that perfect picture is well worth the time to be seen as good through the eyes of Sinterklaas. This morning as we came down the steps, Jari saw his picture still in his shoe, the sign that Sinterklaas had not made it to our house last night. As he pulled the picture out of his shoe, a treasured work of art, I saw a flash of disappointment cross his face, but his positive attitude remained as he explained "Sinterklaas was very busy last night, huh mom? Maybe he will come get my picture tonight, cuz I did a very good job." As he returned his picture to his shoe, I felt a bit disappointed as well, but know that Sinterklaas can not possibly make a visit every night. Yes, my darling boy, I KNOW Sinterklaas is proud of you, and I am positive he will collect your drawing tonight and store it safely away in his red book, reminding him time and time again how much love goes into each stroke of your marker.
As we got ready for school and brushed our teeth together, then got on our coats and hopped on our bike for the trip, Jari exclaimed about the sunny day and how pretty the sky was, but it was still cold. Yes, sweet boy, sometimes the sun shines but the air is still cold. But I bet when I come pick you up for lunch it will be a bit warmer. And it was. We played boxing as I chased him around the house. And we ate soup together, which proved to be a big enough mess he had to change clothes 2 times!!! We talked about his visit to kermis (the carnaval in our town which is setting up for this weekend...with exactly 1 ride, 1 snack shop, and 2 games) with his class, and he was so happy that the carousel was there. He's still so little, but time passes so quickly...when I clean out his cupboard and make a dent in all the clothes that no longer fit him, I wonder how long he will still let me wake him with sweet mornign kisses, how long I have to hear the words of love, how much time remains that he'll think it fun for mama to chase him through the house...how much time is left for Sinterklaas to be such an important figure in his world. How ever much time I have, it will never be enough. These are precious days and I treasure each as the gift that it is. I'm so glad you are mine, my little bug. I hope one day you will know just how happy you have made me, letting me be your mama, letting me love you. Always stay just as you are today...a loving, giving little man with lots of energy and sunshine smiles, with a mind totally your own, someone who can laugh and giggle and shower the people around you with the feeling that life is good. Because with you around, life can't be anything other than wonderful. I'm so glad you are my reality.