From Childhood to Pain

A little something I wrote today to try to help me through this process that my life has become. And to remember the good days when life was just a bit simpler and more grand...in such a pure and simplistic form as living in the woods as a child truly was. May tomorrow bring just a bit more peace to my heart...

From Childhood to Pain

Remembering back...to days long past
Three children growing, 2 boys and a lass.
Learning from nature, playing with sticks
Better than any Top 10 toy picks.

Sitting around the fire
Marshmallows our after-dinner desire
Faces smudged from the outside world
All pent up energy unfurled.

Those memories stick with me
A part of who I’m meant to be
The girl I once was, the woman I now am
An innocence such of a springtime lamb.

For I am a child of the great outdoors
That place where the bald eagle soars
Where squirrels and chipmunks share their home
Where the deer and buffalo roam.

Tasting cool water from a mountain spring
Playing on a tire swing
The mosquitos buzzing around my head
Our precious Bambi bottle-fed.

Family was imbedded in my heart
As if we were the finest work of art
Thinking these people belong to me
Knowing that it would forever be.

But childhood fantasies are put to rest
As we realize we’re an unwanted guest.
Those memorable days long since past
Family no longer so steadfast.

But my heart does not betray me
As I try and try again to see
The reason for this insanity
Does it stem from christianity?

Questions go unanswered as we part our ways
And I remember once again back to my childhood days
I learned and loved in daddy’s woods
Never to be replaced by all the worldly goods.

And so I’ll continue to sit and wonder
My head now filled with this thunder
As I try to come to terms with sadness
And try to understand the madness.

But it hurts.
Oh, the pain it exerts
A knife stabbing deep time and time again
Will I ever again be okay from within?