Mom's Red Cheeks

I spoke to my mom yesterday. Eevry time I hear her voice, it uplifts me. She is my rock through the storm, my very best friend in this life. And yesterday, she made me laugh like I haven't laughed in a long time. Deep, hearty laughter that built up from my toes and relesed itself in tears that streamed down my face. It was truly what I needed, just as she always knows instinctly what I need.

The story will come, but first a bit of bakground on my mom. She is quiet, private, and quite prudish when it comes to sex or those 'things that remain unspoken'. Yeah, such as menstruation, pap smears, menopause. She rarely mentions any of these taboo subjects, and when she does, it comes in the form of an answer to a question I ask, along with glowing red cheeks. yep, I learned about it all the old-fashion way...through experience. Not through private talks with my mom!

Anyway, I have been sending them all this free stuff I find...free samples, free taste test items, free...whatever I find online, they become the recipients of. So, here comes the funny bit.

My mom is training a new employee at her store. He is a young man, a boy she always calls him, and he's worked with her for about 4 days now. So, a box arrives for her. She tells him that her daughter overseas (that would be me) always sends her little surprises that she finds online. She told him about some of the special treasures she has gotten, like a hamburger helper meal, and some lotion. And then, she asks him to help her open this surprise, see what special gift I have granted them today. As they open the box, mom notices a strange shaped fan pop up as her employee peers into the box. She told me it was shaped "funny". As she pulled it out, she realized what the fan was for . It came with brochures telling about "cooling down during those menopausaul night sweats." Mom said she quickly stuffed the stuff back in the box and closed it up before the guy had a chance to see what it was all about. She promised him that he could open the next surprise that arrives...but then wasn't sure she should do that, never knowing what it will be.

But imagine, a private person such as my mother, pulling a penis-shaped fan from a box with the words menopausal night sweat with someone she barely knows, a male kid...and imagine her glowing red cheeks, even as she recounts the story back to me. Classic humor! Yes, the perfect blog flodder!


Jen said...

Oh! That's hilarious! That got a good chuckle out of me, and I don't even know your mom. Are you going to tell her that you posted ALL ABOUT IT on the Internet? Haha!

Claudia said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ooops. Sorry Mom! ;) Too funny! And I am SO glad to hear you and your Mom are so close...it's taken me some time to get there with my Mother, but we're working on it. :) Moms rock, don't they??!

Alison said...

that is too funny Tera!!! I love it!!

swampy said...

First of all, what a GREAT relationship you have.
This is just too funny.
I would have been tempted to let him pull that fan out of the box and see what happened.

Casdok said...

Brillient!!! :)

Jade said...

Hee hee. How funny. I Cry's mom sounds very similar to yours. I can imagine the glowing cheeks and rush to put it away. Hee hee.

Thank you for all the kind and uplifting posts you've left for me my friend. They have helped more than you know. Especially in this time that I am questioning the validity of people in my life and their intent. Thank you!

Amanda said...

hahaha I can just imagine the look on your mums face... I wonder what she will get next in the mail, and where do you find out about getting all the free stuff?? Is it just for US residents??? Hope all is well in your neck of the European woods... xox Amanda. :)