4.18.2007

What does it mean?

I'm feeling a bit unsure today. Last night as I tucked Kaeden into bed, he was telling me about a game they played at camp. One kid lays tummy-down on the floor and another lays on top and the one underneath struggles to get away from the one on top. Sounds a bit more like wrestling to me than a game, but okay, innocent enough. But then came the BIG bomb...the name of the game? Verkrachtertje. What does that mean? Rapist.

This had my every last nerve standing on end. I asked Kaeden what verkracht meant and he told me, knowing full well what rape means. Where did my son learn this? And why? I have spoken to him openly about sex and sexuality since he was little, but we've never discussed rape. I hate the fact that outside influences are giving my son knowledge about such a serious issue. So, I did my best to have the talk with him last night, and can only hope that my words and the trust he shares with me will outweigh what he learns from other kids or places.

As for what happened at scouts? Well, I talked to Erwin about it and he thinks it is possible there is another meaning for verkracht in Belgium. So, I wrote a note to his teacher today asking what it means in Belgium. I will be talking to the leaders of his scout group and tell them I think such a game is completely inappropriate, whether there are dual meanings or not. Having soemone struggle to be free and calling it rape is just completely insane. It should not in any way be a game. And then there is always the possibility that Kaeden misunderstood or heard something from another kid or, or, or...but what my son has in his mind is a game of rape, and for that, I won't stand idly by.

Sometimes being a parent is so hard. I will do anything to stand up for my children and what I think is best for them. But doing it self-assured in another language where I am not 100% confident makes it that much more difficult. I want to get to the bottom of this quickly, and show my son that when I mean business, I mean business...and when I feel strongly about an issue, I will do all in my power to make certain is it righted. And hopefully one day he can stand up for what he knows is right, and put an end to a little game of "verkrachtertje" all on his own, before it gets to this point.

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