Just The Two Of Us

Your hand encased in mine. We walk over the sidewalks, never straight but missing bricks or too high or with a gap, in which mama inevitably stumbles into. You laugh. "Mamaaa, what'd you do that for?" Looking up at me with your wide blue eyes and a smile on your lips, chapped and cracked from the winter, your hair long enough that it's falling into your eyes. "I can never stay out of those cracks" I reply, giving your hand a little squeeze, the warmth of it filling my entire body with the heat of a thousand suns. "I can. Watch how I do that." And you begin to watch each step, jumping over one brick, gliding into another, concetration etched on your face. Your hand never leaves mine, though it flips and tugs about as your body does this dance. "You know what? When I was a little girl we played a game. You had to never step on the cracks. And you say: If you step on the crack, you'll break mama's back." Your eyes, with just a twinkle of a devilish grin, join mine as you purposely step on a crack. You meet my gaze with this devilish achievement, and a hearty giggle escapes your lips. "Hey, are you trying to break my back?" I ask as you pounce ahead of me and I chase after you, dodging people coming at us from the other side of the sidewalk. "Hey, you better get back here..." and I continue on, trying to capture you as the most glorious sound in the world flutters into the air...your giggles. I can't get enough. I'd play this game forever.

We go into each of our destinations, coupled with our hands locked, our conversation comfortable and easy. Where are we going now? you ask. We still have to go to the postoffice I reply. And we head in that direction as you suddenly veer off to enter the 'old' post office doors. Hey? Where you going I ask? This isn't the post office. Yes it is...you continue to bounce along, you never ever really just walk. It's either a ful-fledged run or bouncy jouncy steps. You grasp at the door handle and tug. Hey, it's closed. You look at me for confirmation, and I shake my head. Uh-uh. See, I told you that wasn't the post office. It moved. We have to walk around the corner and go up the steps to get there. And again, you grasp my hand into yours and look upward, commenting on how tall those buildings are and notice all teh possessions lining the balcony windows. Are we gonna go all the way up there? And a we reach the staircase and begin teh climb, you race ahead of me. You covet so much energy, I don't know where it comes from. At the top, I look for you, wonder where you've gone when you peek out from around the barrel sitting there with a loud BOO! Did I scare you, mama? Yes, you sure did, I exclaim with my hand over my heart, a stratled expression on my face. And you laugh, again giving me the fullest happiness I could claim to feel. What you don't know, is that though I know youa re there, when you are out of my vision my mind begins to juggle the worries of a mother...could someone have taken him. Does he know cars could come at any time. Be careful so that heavy door doesn't smash your fingers. Yes, you did scare me, but only within the realm of mother worries, quietly tempered the moment I again see your face.

Our day, ever so ordinary and not anything unique, reminds me of the greatest love in my life. When I am with you and you're not daring your monstrous self to come out and play, there is something so completely beautiful about sharing my life with you. Nothing can compare. Nothing can bring me the warmth from within as the sound of your laughter, the feel of you hand in mine, and the sight of your devilish grin that makes my heart melt. Youa re now a seven year old child...and I know that this can not last forever, these sharing of simple moments, but I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as you're with me, my baby you'll be.

Thank you for giving me something that can never be taken, an always renewable source of energy for days that aren't quite as simple and peaceful. Thank you for your love, and for accepting mine. It'll always be here, always and forever. Please never forget.


Jade said...

You should print this out and give it to your little one when he turns 18. I wish I could infuse the love you have for your children into my own mom. Just a small amount of your kind of love would make all the difference in the world to most.

You are a wonderful woman, wife, mom and friend. Hope you know that girl.

Casdok said...