I am so glad I have been writing about these deep feelings I've been having lately. Today, I suddenly seem to feel a bit lighter. It's nice to have a place where I can just let it all out and in the process relieve myself. I know that some people think all I do is whine about my life, others think I am depressed and sad, and still others may empathize with me a bit. But this is my place to just be me. I share myself and this space is my own. Though I know others read what I have written, I only do this for me, for my family, a journey of our life. I am in general a happy, fun-loving person. I know that I have been afforded an advantaged life. I am deeply in love with my husband, my children, my family and friends. I may get down, but I am not in a constant state of depression. This is just the way life rolls. Some days are good, some days are bad, and you take it as it comes and deal with it in the only manner you know how...until you learn new ways, better ways, of making your life an even more positive experience. I do this through my writing. By releasing the negative, I can hopefully get a grip on the positive.
Yesterday I had a downer of a day. Someone in my family whom I deeply love with all my heart and has been a constant in my life from my very first memories was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is one of those people who is so alive and vibrant, brings fun to every experience in life. She is not only a family member, but a very good friend, and someone I trust with my deepest secrets. And to learn she is going through this battle made me feel scared and sad and a little bit helpless.
She is in the early stages of breast cancer, and will be having a lumpectomy in the coming week. More news will follow as they learn more of her condition after the surgery. She has a teenage daughter, a very family-oriented husband,lots of pets, a job she loves and clients that love her back. She is very involved in life, caring for her elderly parents, taking a 3 mile walk eevry day, busy with ALL the kids in the neighborhood, a volunterr at an animal sanctuary. She hunts and fishes and camps. She loves water parks and roller coasters. And she has breast cancer.
I can't even find the words to say how it makes me feel. The disbelief and shock. The hope...oh, the hope. I will say an extra prayer for you today. I will keep you in my prayers in the coming days, just as I always do. And I will be ehre for you, to share some of those deep laughs that we have always shared. I have hope. Be alive as you always are, the life of the party, the one that always has a ready laugh and so much courage. This is a journey that is going to take courage. I have faith...it'll all be okay. And always know that no matter what, you are loved...