I am so glad I have been writing about these deep feelings I've been having lately. Today, I suddenly seem to feel a bit lighter. It's nice to have a place where I can just let it all out and in the process relieve myself. I know that some people think all I do is whine about my life, others think I am depressed and sad, and still others may empathize with me a bit. But this is my place to just be me. I share myself and this space is my own. Though I know others read what I have written, I only do this for me, for my family, a journey of our life. I am in general a happy, fun-loving person. I know that I have been afforded an advantaged life. I am deeply in love with my husband, my children, my family and friends. I may get down, but I am not in a constant state of depression. This is just the way life rolls. Some days are good, some days are bad, and you take it as it comes and deal with it in the only manner you know how...until you learn new ways, better ways, of making your life an even more positive experience. I do this through my writing. By releasing the negative, I can hopefully get a grip on the positive.
Yesterday I had a downer of a day. Someone in my family whom I deeply love with all my heart and has been a constant in my life from my very first memories was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is one of those people who is so alive and vibrant, brings fun to every experience in life. She is not only a family member, but a very good friend, and someone I trust with my deepest secrets. And to learn she is going through this battle made me feel scared and sad and a little bit helpless.
She is in the early stages of breast cancer, and will be having a lumpectomy in the coming week. More news will follow as they learn more of her condition after the surgery. She has a teenage daughter, a very family-oriented husband,lots of pets, a job she loves and clients that love her back. She is very involved in life, caring for her elderly parents, taking a 3 mile walk eevry day, busy with ALL the kids in the neighborhood, a volunterr at an animal sanctuary. She hunts and fishes and camps. She loves water parks and roller coasters. And she has breast cancer.
I can't even find the words to say how it makes me feel. The disbelief and shock. The hope...oh, the hope. I will say an extra prayer for you today. I will keep you in my prayers in the coming days, just as I always do. And I will be ehre for you, to share some of those deep laughs that we have always shared. I have hope. Be alive as you always are, the life of the party, the one that always has a ready laugh and so much courage. This is a journey that is going to take courage. I have faith...it'll all be okay. And always know that no matter what, you are loved...
Morning, afternoon, evening or night...life is always happening. Let me tell you what's happening in mine.
3 comments:
Good morning my friend. Or afternoon in your case. I am so sorry to hear about your friends diagnosis. That is very hard new to hear and get. The great new is that it is in beginning stages. That nearly triples the success rate. So thats one very positive piece of news.
I actually had a lumpectomy 2 years ago, but it ended up being benign, so...it is something I too have to watch for.
I am so glad you have decided to write during these hard times as well. I am a true believer in writing things out and letting them go, or let go to the best of my ability. It allows time to process, express, and mourn a bit. So I've got to say GOOD FOR YOU for being responsible for your feelings and writing them out instead of stuffing them.
I hope to hear from you girly. Hehe, I even put my make up on fast in case you called before I left home! I'm ready for you this time!
Tera, if I'm not going to hell already I'm going now!!!! When I ran to reach for my phone on the last ring that you called I literally stood there with my jaw dropped and then let out several curse words. I was soooo mad!
I didn't know if that was your phone number or a international calling card so I tried calling back a few times with different numbers in front of it...but to no luck. Haha i pouted the whole way to work.
And what gets me is that I just pushed send to the post i sent you saying I was ready for your call when I walk in to see my cell phone vibrating, as I leap for it...it stops vibrating...DAHHHH!!!
OK...so this is the plan. Synchronize your watch! I will be available tomorrow January 21st 2009 at 7:45am my time or 3:45pm your time OR 10:40 am-12pm which is I think 6:40 pm-8 your time. I will have my phone turned up on its highest volume so that I can hear it from anywhere i may be!
I'm on a mission now!!!! hahaha
Oh, it's hard to take such news. I'm sorry for that, but hopeful to that all will be well for her.
As for the writing--I completely understand. My blog is MY space and my feelings are my feelings. I shouldn't have to justify them or change the way I process them for someone else's comfort. I experience the world in my own way and so do you. We have to be true to ourselves.
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