Today was such a busy day for me...actually it has been an extremely busy week...busy in a good sense as I feel I am finally taking control of my life to better my mental self. I have had very little down time and it feels good to go to bed exhausted at night with a good reason to be exhausted, and not out of sheer boredom with life.
Tonight I had the chance to be among women...mothers and wives, homemakers and work out of homers, outgoing and shy, loud and quiet, skinny and heavy, curly-haired and colored...and I fit right in. I examined myself among this group of women. I am no different than any of the others, just looking for my place in life and a means of making life a place of contentment. I went to this women's club, the start party of the year, and was seated between a group of women whom all knew each other well. I felt like an outsider. But within 15 minutes, I decided to take some initaitive and introduced myself, asked a few questions, and got answers about teh lives of these women. It took only a smile and a question and they were willing to share their lives, their experiences, and let me into their circle of "friendship". I was sitting next to a very outgoing and outspoken woman which helped give me confidence and a feeling of security...excpet that she spoke a lot of dialect which is difficult for me to understand. If there is any barrier between me and these other woman, it is the language...and probably always will be. However, I got many compliments on my ability to speak Dutch and with each compliment my confidence grew and I spoke to them about me, who I am, what my life is about. I told them about my home land, about my children, my husband, and my need to be among people. They promised me this was a good place to be. I felt that by the time I left the party...women, whoever they are, are just women. We all have the same needs and wants, probelsm and concerns...only our life and experiences change the degree and content. I just want to be accepted, to be cared about and be a part. Tonight I was given that opportunity. I'm glad that I threw caution to the wind, dredged up my courage, and made this first step. I am woman, hear me roar (in Dutch, no less....!)