I have got to get myself organized. Now that my knee is improving and I can actually walk again, I need to get my home cleaned up and get some kind of pattern settled. Since everyone is gone all day, I can feel myself sliding again. At the end of each day, I wonder just what it was that I accomplished and where all the hours have gone. It's not that I do nothing all day, but it seems like nothing really gets accomlpished. My house is just sitting patiently waiting for me to get busy, and I just don't know where to begin. I need to make a schedule and cross things off the list to assure it's getting done. I hate that I can't seem to focus on one thing and get that one thing finished. My mind is always full of way too much, which backs me into a wall. Last night, I dropped Jari off at soccer and came home and played basketball with Kaeden for an hour. At first I kept thinking about all I should be doing, but as I started enjoying myself and my son, I realized I was doing exactly the most important thing. Yet, I have all this time during the day when the kids are not home to get my chores done, and I need to start, so that when they are home, I can enjoy them instead of having to "get everything done before papa gets home". So, I have decided to start making a daily list. It seems stupid that I can't do it without, but I can't. I hope it will help me get into a pattern and schedule and get our life cleaned up. We'll all benefit if I can keep this sinking depression at bay. I don't know why, but it seems I easily fall into depression...and in order to prevent it, I have to stay busy, be active, and keep myself from being a hibernating bear in his den. So, I know what I gotta do...now, if I can just manage it!!!