4.23.2008

I Got An Award!

How exciting! I came home with a bit of a headache after discussing my son and his problems with yet another new psychiatrist, and signing him into the hospital psychiatric program....and when I logged on, I found out that Alison at RDH MOM granted me a Blog Of Distinction Award! How cool is that? Thanks Alison...I'll treasure this forever!

So, Kaeden is now on the waitlist for this psychiatric program. I'm pretty jumbles up at the moment. The downside is that the psychiatrist wasn't sure that their maximal four week program would be able to address all of our needs, and wanted to discuss it further with colleagues. The upside is that we are underway to getting help for Kaeden, and in turn, our family unit.

Speaking with a psych always makes me feel like the situation we are in is far deeper than it feels living it on a daily basis. We discuss the issues, and it just seems like there are so many to address, so many things that need fixing. Sometimes, speaking of Kaeden in those terms with him sitting beside me makes me feel for him, wondering what he is thinking with his parents discussing him and his problems in such a light. But he really is a trooper. The psych asked him what he thought of the program and he was 100% committed to being checked in. He recognizes there is a problem, even if he doesn't see it as a step into his future. He also can't voice exactly how he feels, but my hope is that this program will help him to achieve that, even if only a little bit.

So, we will most likely acquire a placement the beginning of June, which runs for 4 weeks with follow-up therapy outside of the facility. He will live in the hospital and have weekend visits at home (though he still sleeps at the hospital). There is also weekly counseling with family members, so some of those issues can be addressed as well. And, they secure help for after-care, which is my biggest motivation for doing this..in four weeks, there is no way that everything can be 100% hunky-dory!

Anyway, imagine a mother reaching out for help and finally having prayers answered...and think of a mother longing for her son to be happy and finally being given the tools to help him on his way...and think of a mom sending her child off to a facility other than home for a month...and think of no bedtime kisses, no daily hugs, no talks about hwo his day has been...and think of no morning fights, but in place of them, a nightly phone call or visit...and complete attention for a little guy that seems to be so overshadowed by his big brothers problems...you can see why my mind is a jumbled up mess at the moment.

But yeah, I got an award!!! And that sure takes away some of the pain of those jumbles!!!

3 comments:

Claudia said...

Honey, you deserve it. You are an amazing, multi-talented rock star fearless femme. You. Go. Girl. :)

Alison said...

Oh Tera...I wish I could give you a big hug right now....my heart goes out to you. Sometimes doing the right thing still hurts. Take it one day at a time....you are an incredible mother.

V-Grrrl said...

No, this isn't going to be easy. But maybe, just maybe, it won't be as hard as you imagine. Imagine yourself planting Kaeden in this program, like a seed. Hard to let go and cover him with "dirt"--but hold the vision of him sprouting and blooming over time...