Who Is She?

I know lots of little bits and pieces, but the entire puzzle just never came into place for me. The puzzle I speak of is my sister-in-law, Ilse. In all the time I have been with her brother and a member of her family, she and I have never had (taken) the time to spend time together, getting to know each other, as we really should ahve done. There have been times when we have gotten a bit closer, but life circumstances just carried us back to the mixed up box, and those puzzle pieces just never clicked into place. After we had a bit of a falling out in July, I think we both looked at teh situation through new glasses, and began to see that putting those pieces to the puzzle together was important to both of us. Yesterday we finally took that first step. We spent teh day together, just the two of us, for the first time ever. I have to admit to being nervous. When I got an email asking me for a day out with her, I was thrilled. I felt a great relief lifted from my shoulders as I read her invitation,a pitter-patter in my heart feeling like this would give us our chance. There was no way I was letting this window of opportunity pass me by. As the day got closer, though, I wondered how we would make out, two virtual strangers trying to come together for a good cause. Would we have anything to talk about? Would we be happy shopping in the same types of stores? What should I wear to make her feel comfortable with me? Would we be bored with each other before the day came to an end?

As I showered for our outing I started to relax. I decided that the only thing I needed to be was myself, and I was looking forward to a day shopping and lunching out. It felt like a luxury was falling into my lap. One I had waited a very long time to receive. I got dressed and didn't even turn to my closet a second time. Whatever her opinion of me, it had long since formed and changing my clothes was not going to change who I am...I headed downstairs to wait, and managed to clean up the kitchen while I did. When I heard the doorbell ring, I was folding a load of laundry. At that moment, my stomach fell into the pit of my stomach. Oh boy, this is it, I thought, as I opened the door. And then in she walked...my sister-in-law.

We drove towards Weert, a nice little shopping city, for the day. We started off enjoying a cup of coffee in the sunshine, and the conversation was never a challenge. It came easily and flowed just as it should. We went shopping and managed to make a few good finds...at one of her favorite stores (I just learned this about her yesterday), V&D, I scored jeans for teh kids at a GREAT price. We took a lunch break again enjoying the beautiful weather outside. I talked a lot during lunch, she learned a great deal about who I was, things I have never even considered discussing with her before. We talked about how Erwin and I met, and how his family reacted to him getting involved with soem American girl on the internet. We laughed a lot as we discussed her brother, my husband, and his quirky but lovable personality traits. We just got to know one another, better than we have ever allowed each other before.

As we finished our second cup of coffee, I looked at my watch and relaized we had been sitting there for nearly 2 hours...2 hours talking, enjoying the weather, and each other (at least I think so). There had been no awkward moments, no times that I felt uncomfortable, no silences to fill up time. It was ncie. I learned a few new things about this importnat member of my family. I realized just how relaxed she could be when everyday stresses were thrown out the window, how her devotion to her horse is more than just about love and hides a strong value system and dedication. I learned that I could be me, and she would accept me for the person that I am. As we walked back to the car, I felt a peaceful contentment. All my worries were thrown out the window. Here is a woman with whom I could enjoy a day of companionship. I can't describe it as anything but nice.

After yesterday, I am even more willing to get that puzzle put together. I don't have to be her best friend, I don't have to agree with everything she says, I don't have to spend every free moment with her and know everything about her, but I can accept her as my friend, a person to laugh with and share with, someone to hang out with when time allows, a woman I want to claim as a member of my family. From my heart to yours, Ilse, I am proud to call you my sister-in-law. Thanks for taking the chance and getting one more piece of the puzzle fitted snuggly into place.