Death

Do you ever feel like your life just sucks and you wish you could change everything about it? I do, once in awhile I forget all about all the good stuff in my life and just wish I could be living in someone else's shoes. But today, I got a strong wake up call that reminded me to be thankful for all I do have...

As I was getting dressed this morning I looked out the window into the yard across the way. I saw the same ole trees, the piles of dirt from teh new housing project, an orange tarp blowing in the wind, the driveway newly created with a little path of rocks...and I saw a home...

In this home lived a man and a woman just 3 days ago. Today, in this home lives a widowed man. As I got tears in my eyes, I realized that life is precious. Saturday this man will bury his wife. Saturday this man will cry for the loss of his future with the partner of his life. Saturday this man will lay his wife of many years to rest among the flowers and headstones in the church cemetary. And after Saturday, life will go on...but not "as normal".

Saturday I will sing at a funeral mass. Saturday I will cry for the loss of a friend's wife. Saturday I will serve coffee and sandwiches to grieving members of his and her family. And after Saturday, life will go on...but not as normal...I will grieve with this man as I reach out to give him a hug at our next choir practice, I will look out my bedroom window just beyond the fence and remember a woman I have never met, a woman whom suffered in life from a sickly disease, a woman that I hear once had a beautiful singing voice, a woman I have seen carried away on two occasions by the ambulance, a woman that no longer reigns on this earth. And I will be changed, remembering through her death that I have so much goodness in my life. I won't say that I'll never "forget" all the good I have, but at least for today, I am feeling blessed. Blessed to have a loving husband, blessed to have two beautiful, active boys, blessed to have parents and grandparents still with me on this earth, blessed to ahve the friendships that help get me through many situations...I am blessed.

As the rain washes away the tears I let fall today, I hope that the sun will bring some sense of peace to the man on the other side of my fence. May you find peace in your solitary life...and to her, may you rest in peace.