What Sad Means To An Autie

Yesterday Erwin and I had a discussion when we woke up. I shed a few tears as we discussed Kaeden and the best means of parenting him. It's always a difficult discussion as we have differing opinions about what we feel is best, though I do believe we both want what is best for him. I know that we both care and that is the importnat thing.

Anyway, as I came downstairs to make breakfast Kaeden looked at my face and knew I had been crying. He was concerned and asked me why I was sad. Before I could respond he asked "Did Gramma die?"

I couldn't help but chuckle...if my mom died I would be in a much much deeper state of sadness. His innocence and misunderstanding of feeling truly struck me. As I laughed, a tiny piece of my heart also collapsed. As much as this child understood I wasn't competely happy, how in the world could he possibly think my mom had died? It was one of those mixed good/bad feelings that I couldn't shake for the rest of the day.

Those are the little things about autism. Nothing is just simple.

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